Tubing
by Emanoma
Summary: Sunscreen, swimming trunks, towel, 50 dollars. Bringing your whiny boyfriend tubing... priceless. Oh, the joy of long distance relationships and camping trips. All dialogue, takes place in New Hampshire or someplace with a lake


Disclaimer: If I owned 'em, would I be writing fanfiction?

"There is no way in hell I am putting that thing on."

"Just put it on, Spot."

"I'll look like a marshmallow!"

"It's a lifejacket! It is meant to save your life, not be a fashion statement."

"I'm not a bad swimmer."

"Yea, sure."

"I am _not!_"

"Just put on the lifejacket."

"Raaaace, it makes me look fat, I knew it! And It fits weird."

"That's because it's backwards, dumbass."

"Don't you speak to me like that! And I am NOT going on that tube."

"Stop being a baby. You are going on that tube if I have to _drag_ you!"

"I am _not_ a baby, you meanie! And I am not going on the tube."

"Just please get on."

"_No_, Race."

"My, God, Spot, I'll freaking be with you the _whole time_! Tubing is wicked fun, I swear. And besides, my uncle knows how to drive a boat. I promise, you will not drown."

"Liar! I'm going to drown and you know it. And I am _not_ going on that thing."

"Please?"

"No."

"P-p-p-pwease, Spotty?"

"You suck."

"I will after we go tubing."

"Shut up."

"Get in the tube."

"I will not surrender!"

"Spooooottttyyyyyy."

"You can't make me."

"Just. Get. In. The. Damn. Tube. Spot."

"You get in first."

"Heck no. Then I won't be able to get _you_ in. _You_ go first."

"You can't tell me wha- OW! What was that for?"

"How else was I supposed to get you in?"

"You didn't need to push me."

"If I didn't, we'd be here all day."

"Hmph."

"Ok, hold on to the ropes in front of you."

"For what?"

"So you don't fly off, Spot."

"Dear God, if you let me stay alive, I promise I won't steal David's porn magazines anymore, or hide Jack's bandana (even though it is fashion suicide), or write dirty words on Mush's homework. And if I _do_ die, I want to apologize for the time I shaved Grandma's cat, and the time I dropped Blink's eye patch in the toilet, and the time I broke Race's computer and didn't tell him it was me. Amen."

"_You_ broke my computer!"

"P.S. If it is at all possible, keep me alive. 17 is much too young to die."

"We're going now."

"GAAAAHHH!"

"We barely moved, ya pansy!"

"We're too fast, tell him to slow down, oh GOD we're too fast, I'M DROWNING!"

"You are NOT drowning! Now shut up and lean back, you are making us sink!"

"No, no, I can't, I'm drowning!"

"I assure you, if you lean back, you won't drown."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Holy SHIIIIIIIIIITT!"

"Chyeaa boyyy!"

"We're dying!"

"No we're not! This is freaking AWESOME! Hey, Uncle Leo, go faster!"

"What do you mean, 'go faster'! Don't tell him to go faster Race, you idiot, we are plenty fast enough as it is!"

"What are you, my grandmother? Uncle Leo, give us some waves!"

"Waves? _Waves! _Don't give us waves! We don't want any waves, thanks! Race, why is the boat turning like that? And why are we moving sideways? And OH MY GAWD WE ARE GONNA DIE!"

"We are not going to die, Spot! _Spot?_ Whoa, man overboard! Uncle Leo, I think Spot just fell off the tube. Coming, Spot darling! Never fear, Racetrack is here! How do you feel?"

"You sick BASTARD!"

"Aww, wasn't that fun though?"

"_NO_ IT WAS NOT FUN I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING I HATE TUBING I ALMOST GOT EATEN BY A GIANT TURTLE I WAS DROWNING DAMN TUBING A SHARK TRIED TO BITE MY LEG OFF YOU ASSHOLE AND I AM _NEVER TUBING AGAIN!_"

"Wait, say that again?"

"AARGHHH!"

"Aww, Spotty-"

"Don't-call-me-Spotty."

"Seanny baby?"

"Shut up."

"Pookie?"

"Shut UP!"

"HEY!"

"That's what you get."

"You could have asked me nicely to stop before you pulled me in the freezing water!"

"Now you know how I feel. And I _did_ ask you to stop."

"Oh. Right."

"Exactly."

"So are we gonna go again?"

"Don't talk to me about that."

"I love you."

"Damn you."

"Don't you love me, Spot?"

"Be quiet."

"Say it."

"I'm not listening!"

"You know you want to…"

"Fine. I love you, you short asshole. Now don't talk to me."

"Okay, skinny asshole."

"Don't call me an asshole!"

"Don't call me short."

"But you really _are_ short!"

"And you really are an asshole."

"I am _not_."

"HAH I made you speak to me again!"

"Shut up Race."

"Okay."

"Good boy."

"So now what?"

"You tell me. You were the one who forced me to come on this stupid camping trip a bajillion miles away from my home town."

"New Hampshire isn't that far away from New York."

"Whatever. Can we please go now? I think there's a shark coming or something."

"There are no sharks dipshit."

"I almost got bit by one before!"

"Nuh uh."

"I _did_, I swear! There _could_ be some in here, ya know…"

"We are in a _lake_, Spot."

"So?"

"You are _such_ a city boy."

"There's nothing wrong with city boys. We just realize how much how much camping sucks, unlike you Boston hicks."

"Hicks? And camping is great."

"When you are watching it on t.v."

"Ehh, go back to Brooklyn."

"Gladly. Well, what are we gonna do now? Sit and freeze in the water all day or what?"

"Well, we _could_ try tubing again…"

"Don't even think about it. Let's do something _fun_ that _I_ want to do."

"Sex on the beach?"

"Sounds good. Let's go."

Author's Notes: First ever story I have put out! I hope you enjoy. I am maybe thinking of writing a bunch of "adventures" for Spot and Race. Drop a line and the chances of my writing more will increase by 10.


End file.
